What is wrong with television...

I watch too much tv. This is bad for me. So, in an effort to dissuade you from making the same mistakes, I am going to, in single-sentence reviews, tell you what is wrong with the shows I watch religiously. Even though most of these are my favorites.

• Law & Order: Lenny Briscoe left the show, and then died.
• Law & Order SVU: Too much Benson and Stabler drama, not enough Munch and Tutuola drama.
• Law & Order CI: There was a recent episode that began with Under Pressure during the opening montage, and didn't extend the montage so that I could listen to the whole song.
• CSI Miami: David Caruso tries to be a tough guy while looking like Howdy Doodie in sunglasses, and wears a black suit in Miami.
• Cold Case: Every victim they investigate on this show has committed fewer sins than Jesus.
• Heroes: Why do we have to wait a week for each new episode?
• Scrubs: The last episode I saw was entirely made up of rehashing old jokes from a new perspective.
• The Daily Show: Since the Daily Show is actually more informative than other news shows, it's not just in my head that I get more depressed about the world when I watch this show.
• The Colbert Report: Sometimes, he's just too good at playing the role of the asshole pundit.
• House MD: It's medically inaccurate, and thus my hopes of being a doctor from watching this show have been dashed.
• Monk: Why does he always have to be placed in mortal danger from the bad guy?

I'm sure there are more to be added to the list. Some day.